Information

Partners and families, including parents, are encouraged to join DEFGLIS and be part of our community. You might wish to connect with us via social media using the links below.

Same-sex partners undergo the same pressures as all Defence families – we move to a completely new location every few years – with the adding pressure of sometimes being separated from a visible LGTBIQ+ community. It can be difficult to form new friendships and get started in your new locality. Sometimes partners can find themselves without connections to the local community and have a hard time meeting like-minded people. Our online community via Facebook means that you never have to struggle too hard to stay connected with the LGBTIQ+ community in Defence.

We aim to offer a range of formal and informal networking opportunities in every locality around Australia a few times a year in addition to our annual national events.

We work with Defence Families of Australia to ensure that LGBTIQ+ families are included and considered during policy changes.

If you are having difficulty having your relationship recognised, please let us know, so we can try to address the problem with Defence.

Not everyone wants to be out at work. If your partner chooses this, please be aware of the risks of isolation and hiding aspects of your life from people around you. DEFGLIS can be a network for partners and parents where privacy is respected and the Defence member need not be outed.

Remember, if your relationship is not recognised, that means you will have difficulty accessing Defence support services – particularly if the service member is deployed and is injured or dangerously ill. If your relationship is not recognised and your partner is posted, you may have to pay your own way to accompany your partner. If your partner is posted overseas, you won’t be entitled to have an Official Passport, and the type of Visa that provided to family members of Defence personnel. If this is might affect you, you should discuss this with your partner.

If you find yourself at a remote posting, have you considered volunteering with DEFGLIS? You might have a range of skills that would benefit the Defence LGBTIQ+ community in your local area. Contact us for more information about opportunities.

Current Initiatives

We worked with Defence People Group to ensure that LGBTIQ+ families get a fair go regarding having their relationships recognised. Without access to marriage, it was particularly important for same-sex families that commander discretion is applied in a fair and just manner. DEFGLIS worked for years helped to achieve this outcome in mid-2016.

We are colleagues with Sydney Gay and Lesbian Business Association, GLOBE in Melbourne, and Brisbane Gay and Lesbian Business Network to host local networking events. Soon, we hope to progress similar types of professional networking partnerships so there’s always something to do, regardless of whether there is a local coordinator in your area.

We also run a private Facebook group where partners and parents can get to know each other and other LGBTIQ+ Defence members. We welcome and encourage family members to join DEFGLIS for networking and support.

Counselling Services

Open Arms provides free and confidential, nation-wide counselling and support for war and service-related mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance and anger.

Open Arms will also counselling for matters relating to sexual orientation gender identity.

Open Arms also provides relationship and family counselling – including same-sex couples – to address issues that can arise due to the unique nature of the military lifestyle. Open Arms counsellors have an understanding of military culture and can work with clients to find effective solutions for improved mental health and wellbeing.

Veterans and their families are encouraged to be aware of changes in mental state (such as increased irritability or restlessness, social withdrawal, reduced concentration, disturbed sleep, increased worry) and to take action at the early signs and seek professional support, not wait to see if they will go away.

Visit the AT EASE website for information about mental health concerns common to veterans and their families.

During business hours 1800 011 046 connects you to the triage team who will organise for an intake assessment. View the list of Open Arms Centres.

Outside business hours 1800 011 046 connects you with Counsellors who are available to support you if you are feeling angry, upset, anxious, depressed or having thoughts of self-harm.

Veteran Partner Recognition

Veterans should ensure that their partners are registered and recognised by DVA to ensure they can access support in the untimely event of the veteran’s death. This is particularly important for veterans in same-sex relationships where a marriage certificate cannot be produced.

The Gold Card and war widow(er)s pensions are part of the compensation pension package for the veteran’s death. In certain circumstances the granting of the war widow pension is automatic.

If DVA have no record of a partner, then a manual application is required following the death of the veteran. This may include proving that a bona-fide relationship existed, which can be quite difficult — particularly since Australian law does not allow same-sex people to be married and be issued with a marriage certificate recognised by the Commonwealth at a Federal level.

To avoid such issues, it is recommended that veterans ensure that their partner is registered and recognised by DVA, and that contact details are kept current.

The War Widows Guild, Legacy and the RSL are usually able to assist with applications for the Gold Card and war widow(er)s pension. DEFGLIS does not have significant experience in this area, but we will try to make sure that your questions are answered.

Online facilities available at www.dva.gov.au are used to register family information. Alternatively, you can telephone DVA’s Veterans Affairs Network (VAN)  on 1800 838 872.

DVA Factsheets provide information about DVA benefits and services. The fact sheets relevant to support for same-sex partners are:

– IS09 Relationship Status (clearly outlines policy on same sex relationships)

– DP60 War Widow`s and Orphan`s Pension (automatically entitled to the pension and eligible to apply)

The DVA website also provides access to additional support services such as the Benefits Guide and Entitlement self-assessment.

Amending Service Records